wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
