Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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