i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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