He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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