i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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