white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
