My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
