we're blogging at a bar
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
and you fell through a lawn chair
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
