Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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