somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
