Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
