So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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