just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
