He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
