listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
