I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
