Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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