My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Even my vagina gasped.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
