Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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