Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We are two peas in an std pod
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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