when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
