I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
