just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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