I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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