her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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