i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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