bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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