ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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