Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
