ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
