before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Randomize
