D3 body, D1 cock
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
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