i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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