I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
