What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
