I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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