Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
