Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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