My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
