i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
