I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
