Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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