Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
