so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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