Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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