Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Let's get the cat blown out
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
