yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
The ass gains better be worth it
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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