Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
