Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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