Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
